The Happiest Place In Asia
Japan is a land of contrast. And when in Rome, as the saying goes, one must do as the Romans. So after spending 2 days in Kyoto, the cultural heart of Japan, absorbing the expansive Shinto shrines and austere Zen temples, it was time for a change. A shift of modes and times. You’ve just spent 2 days enjoying the cultural wonders of Japan. Now what are you going to do?
Go to Tokyo Disneyland of course. What better way to experience another country than to invade that most audacious of American “cultural” exports? Seek to understand a person by studying the mirror they peer into. It’s the kind of subversive guerilla tactic that would make Hunter Thompson proud. And hey, it’d be fun.
On the way out, we were trying to rectify the position of Tokyo Disneyland within the pantheon of happiness. Disneyland is supposed to be the Happiest Place On Earth (HPOE). But by our count, there are a few such places in California, Florida, France, and Tokyo. We quickly ruled out Euro Disney (even Disney seems to have no illusions on this one), but that still left a few. Does the title of HPOE pass from park to park as the sun crosses the planet? Is it “The Happiest Place On Earth Between 1 AM and 2 PM Greenwich Mean Time”? But that would overlap with some of the other parks. That won’t do. The perils of globalization. In the end, we settled on “The Happiest Place In Asia.” I’m sure there are some who would argue that. Hmm, I think I’d better let this train of thought die right here.
Moving right along. It’s obviously a gross generalization, but Japan loves America. Icons of American popular culture are everywhere and they’re worshipped with zeal and money. So it should be no surprise that this has been the most visited theme park in the world. And sweet Jesus, it didn’t take long for me to believe that.
The crowds were ridiculous. Only in a country as orderly and patient as Japan could this work. Every ride had a lineup estimated at between 60 and 150 minutes. The women’s bathrooms looked like electronics stores the night before the PS3 was released. The popcorn stands had about 300 people lined up to pay 800 yen (about $8 CDN) for a commemorative pale full of flavored popcorn. And the lines didn’t shrink all day. I kid you not, there were still that many people waiting for popcorn at 8:30 p.m. I had to wonder what sort of “special seasoning” they were using.
Japanese people are amongst the most courteous and considerate you’ll ever meet. But they still haven’t shaken that Asian penchant for pushiness in crowds. I guess it’s inevitable whenever there’s such dense population. Maybe they’re not pushy and we North American’s are simply spoiled. But I just can’t accept that using your infant child and his stroller as a battering ram isn’t a violation of natural law. Or that it can be deemed anything but rude to drive your grandma’s wheelchair into the back of someone’s calves.
This all reached its crescendo following the fireworks show as the massive crowd headed for the gates. Apparently everyone had the same idea as us and decided to hit up the gift shops on the way out the door. There were so many people crammed into these shops that you could hardly move. Getting to the back of the shop was like trying to fight your way to the front of a mosh pit at a rock concert. And somehow through this melee, people managed to clear the shelves like piranhas stripping a cow’s carcass. I’ve never seen such zeal to part with the contents of wallets. That famed Japanese consumerism.
So the day ended up being an intense trial of patience. I wonder if it’s occurred to the Zen masters of Japan that this could be an excellent training vehicle. If you could survive a day at Tokyo Disneyland without at least once harboring thoughts of bloody murder, enlightenment would be a snap.
Now, I don’t want to make it sound like it was all bad. We did manage to have a good time. Some highlights were hearing Zippity-Doo-Da sung in Japanese, plunging off of splash mountain, seeing gleeful teenage girls ask to have their photo taken with Aiden as if he was one of the Disney characters, and watching the Christmas version of the Electric Parade. Good times but by the end of the day, all three of us were sore, exhausted, and ready to drift off into never never land.
Go to Tokyo Disneyland of course. What better way to experience another country than to invade that most audacious of American “cultural” exports? Seek to understand a person by studying the mirror they peer into. It’s the kind of subversive guerilla tactic that would make Hunter Thompson proud. And hey, it’d be fun.
On the way out, we were trying to rectify the position of Tokyo Disneyland within the pantheon of happiness. Disneyland is supposed to be the Happiest Place On Earth (HPOE). But by our count, there are a few such places in California, Florida, France, and Tokyo. We quickly ruled out Euro Disney (even Disney seems to have no illusions on this one), but that still left a few. Does the title of HPOE pass from park to park as the sun crosses the planet? Is it “The Happiest Place On Earth Between 1 AM and 2 PM Greenwich Mean Time”? But that would overlap with some of the other parks. That won’t do. The perils of globalization. In the end, we settled on “The Happiest Place In Asia.” I’m sure there are some who would argue that. Hmm, I think I’d better let this train of thought die right here.
Moving right along. It’s obviously a gross generalization, but Japan loves America. Icons of American popular culture are everywhere and they’re worshipped with zeal and money. So it should be no surprise that this has been the most visited theme park in the world. And sweet Jesus, it didn’t take long for me to believe that.
The crowds were ridiculous. Only in a country as orderly and patient as Japan could this work. Every ride had a lineup estimated at between 60 and 150 minutes. The women’s bathrooms looked like electronics stores the night before the PS3 was released. The popcorn stands had about 300 people lined up to pay 800 yen (about $8 CDN) for a commemorative pale full of flavored popcorn. And the lines didn’t shrink all day. I kid you not, there were still that many people waiting for popcorn at 8:30 p.m. I had to wonder what sort of “special seasoning” they were using.
Japanese people are amongst the most courteous and considerate you’ll ever meet. But they still haven’t shaken that Asian penchant for pushiness in crowds. I guess it’s inevitable whenever there’s such dense population. Maybe they’re not pushy and we North American’s are simply spoiled. But I just can’t accept that using your infant child and his stroller as a battering ram isn’t a violation of natural law. Or that it can be deemed anything but rude to drive your grandma’s wheelchair into the back of someone’s calves.
This all reached its crescendo following the fireworks show as the massive crowd headed for the gates. Apparently everyone had the same idea as us and decided to hit up the gift shops on the way out the door. There were so many people crammed into these shops that you could hardly move. Getting to the back of the shop was like trying to fight your way to the front of a mosh pit at a rock concert. And somehow through this melee, people managed to clear the shelves like piranhas stripping a cow’s carcass. I’ve never seen such zeal to part with the contents of wallets. That famed Japanese consumerism.
So the day ended up being an intense trial of patience. I wonder if it’s occurred to the Zen masters of Japan that this could be an excellent training vehicle. If you could survive a day at Tokyo Disneyland without at least once harboring thoughts of bloody murder, enlightenment would be a snap.
Now, I don’t want to make it sound like it was all bad. We did manage to have a good time. Some highlights were hearing Zippity-Doo-Da sung in Japanese, plunging off of splash mountain, seeing gleeful teenage girls ask to have their photo taken with Aiden as if he was one of the Disney characters, and watching the Christmas version of the Electric Parade. Good times but by the end of the day, all three of us were sore, exhausted, and ready to drift off into never never land.
Labels: Disneyland, japan
posted by Justin Callison at 1:46 AM
5 Comments:
just have to say that this post made me LAUGH OUT LOUD in the truest sense. I can just picture the scene with the stroller and wheel chair... ah asia. The land of 'push or be pushed!"
It might make you laugh to hear that last week during the water ban, my dad was at costco and they had to call the cops because many asian people were fighting trying to fill the carts with water.
Enjoy the rest of your trip!!!!
Not jealous that all my brothers were together at Disneyland while I was here studying, no sounds like it was a blast. Wish I could have been there to stick up for you guys and make sure noone pushed you around
Ya, we get into trouble when we don't have our sister to take care of us ....
disneyland hong kong may not be large enough to oust disneyland tokyo of its "happiest place in asia" title, but i'm glad to report that other than a few cranky, tired kids, most visitors were pretty happy there too.
AND the upside of the disneyland in hk is that if you go during the weekdays, it's not so busy! viv and i waited about 5 minutes for the Space Mountain ride; the longest wait was 30 minutes for the Autopia one.
but the gift shops were crazy at all hours of the day.
If you only had to wait 5 minutes for Space Mountain, I think it takes the title from Tokyo ...
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